No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
