I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
