that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
