I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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