member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
