I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
