dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
and you fell through a lawn chair
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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