i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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