Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Randomize
