You made me cry and you don't even care
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
