Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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