I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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