Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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