He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
