weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
