How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
should my penis look like a turkey
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
