great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude i'm inner monologue high
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
