He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
