Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
