my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
