it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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