i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
