now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
