I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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