normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
