im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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