I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
