Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
