I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
