I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
