She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize