My liver just broke up with me...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
