Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
