I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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