physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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