my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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