i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
