toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
