dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
