Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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