dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
