There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
