I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
