I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
