I want to stick my p in your. b.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Randomize
