i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
