if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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