Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
