yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
