Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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