Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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